jestomaniac

In A Dream

2012-03-01T18:58:00.000+05:30

In a dream I see us looking fine

Holding hands, flying above the sea

A surprise we finally cross the line

In a dream it’s just you and me.

Dancing among the clouds

With your long lost guitar at hand,

You sing to me the sweetest round

Of tunes in soft little love strands.

Happy thoughts brace my heart a shine

To your tune all my worries flee,

And where your sunshine meets mine

Is where our heaven shall be.

The Plight of a Prostitute

2011-10-11T21:19:00.000+05:30

A thousand heartfelt laughs,

Eating to your souls fill,

Evening draws near,

You slide into your best wear,

Kneeling to the pleasures of the world,

You knock your wings off your back.

Bouncing to the beat of the groove

You fill your heart with the best

And it’s never enough to keep

Eyeing for flesh to fill your thirst.

For tradingflesh earns you reward

Of wealth and ofworldly pleasures

A taste of arich man’s luxury

Of splendidrushes down your spines

All at once beneath your rusted halo
Surfaced the hidden crave of lust,
And so you sell your soul among the feeds
As if tomorrow is a forbidden destiny.

Deadly Sins flyabout

Watching you sineven more,

Until your soulcould contain

No more and youCollapse.

One such a thousand hurtful nights

She sleeps away her weariness,

While the rest of the world complains

Cursing the flashing red light

As a major defect among the good,

The best and the perfect.

She couldn’t care less of what people say

For life is one way for people who swing

Between life and survival,

Lest what they want is death.

Nobody cares toponder her stake,

Nobody cares tooffer her a choice,

Nobody cares toadmire the art

Of this humbledamsel yet so noble

To have accepted her profession a gift
That put food on one’s humble keep,
That earns her simple pleasures
The best way she knows how to.

And if societyshould judge

How she keepsher humble life alive,

Should we notjudge how society judge her

With a thousandmocking laughs?

Beautiful

2011-09-09T21:13:00.000+05:30

She is beautiful standing in her white
Crowned with a veil beautiful to her waist,
She wears a multitudinous smile
That glitters like a thousand fireflies.
And there she graces herself to his side
Solemnly surrendering to the Holy rite
While myself sit and stare thinking
That maybe a few years before leaving,
This girl could have been anybody
Could have been my own story.

He is beautiful standing beside her
With happiness nothing could possibly mar,
The Holy mother of Christ was no less adored
As he adores the one that claims him lord.
And when vows are said and all is done
A kiss binds them forever as one.
Amidst the merry children and crowded church
Comes the newly wedded beneath the flowery arch,
Beauty has many wipe their joyful tears
Mine falls for something else.

Cherished Moment

2011-07-15T00:07:00.007+05:30

One could see the glittering lights and stars
Looking down upon the two that embraced
As though their souls were always meant to rhyme
Among the silence, beside the lonely road.

Their hearts would dance a blissful symphony
Beneath the thickets of the dark cold sky
Sharing laughs that were beyond magical
Breathing memories into each other's life.

He Knew

2011-05-01T23:30:00.009+05:30

He knew I loved him
And all it matters,
Even though our worlds
Drifted apart.

I know he loves me
And it matters much,
For it is it which
Carries me forth.

He knows I love him
And I know he will,
Even though our worlds
Drifted apart.

Tears

2011-04-30T16:50:00.005+05:30

Tears are made
To fall, if not why
Should they hide
Lest they be no use.

So weep maid
Forget you could fly,
Leave his side
And console thy muse.

The Morning Prayer

2011-04-15T16:39:00.005+05:30

When the morning ray first touch the fallen dew
When birds come out to play and go Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!
When I sit alone in the freshness of a new day
Surrounded by thoughts that are hundred or more.
I thank you Lord for the heart that beats
In rhythm with this new glorious day
And for this time I worship you Lord
Magnificent day and I am part of it.
Not so long can this quiet time be observed
The sun has waken thousands of multitudinous eyes
And I among them, shall soon be tangled in this busy world

And within it lies the test of paths, of right and wrong.
Lord, be with me throughout the day
Straighten my paths that I may follow
Be the guiding star that I look upon
Help me to live my life for you.
And when the sun is up and noises subdue the silence
It is time to retrieve myself to the world of reality
I know now in my heart that I will do well
For I believe in the Lord who strengthens me.
Lord, you are the light that fills my soul
I am nothing if it’s without you
Stay with me for my life is in your hands
In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Better When You Breathe

2011-03-19T19:03:00.007+05:30

I trade my life each day to this hazzling drink
Wishing that it would eat away my senses,
To be death-like in joining your death,
To be void of senses is when I'm closest to you.

I am a prey to my memories;
They haunt me to your graves.
This earth that swallows the flesh I love,
I search for you beneath my every step.

Everything changes when life betrays.
One minute I have you and then you're gone,
One minute I hear you and then you fade away,
Come back dear Life, it's better when you Breathe!

Little

2011-02-22T17:14:00.012+05:30

Little by little
I gathered a little,
Bits of little here and there
From minutes far and near.

Little by little
I grew a little,
Ten plus twice a triple
Till i lost count to a million.

Little by little
I saved a little,
Tiny little summed up a bulk
And something among the little
Ain't little no more.

Little by little
I gave away a little,
Of little I thought wouldn't harm.
But little by little
What I had, worn out a little,
Until the million I grew
Were reduced to a little.

So little by little
I lost the little in me,
And that's how the little in me
Died little by little.

Life

2011-02-17T12:13:00.003+05:30

Life does not always greet you with flirty winds
That sweeps your hair when you're walking
Slow motion one sunny morning.

Life is neither always having cold winds
Blow your dry hair when you're busy
Running about the hectic streets.

Life is what I don't know anything about
Everything I ought to know,
Life is to live once and be dead.

If You’re Wondering

2011-02-02T23:20:00.003+05:30

If you’re wondering how she’s doing I don’t know either,
I heard she’s busy doing the household chores.
Some say she’s out there with a friend or two,
But I believe she’s been places and quite content.

If you’re wondering how she’s doing don’t ask me,
I haven’t seen her since you left her so.
Some say she often cries to wet her pillow,
I doubt it, for some say she never look so happy.

If you’re wondering how she’s doing I’ll tell you later,
For now I’m busy driving my life and tuning the radio.
“She’s a Dreamer…” sang the radioman with an acoustic guitar,
“I know she will make it cause’ she’s a Survivor.”

Cold December

2010-12-03T23:22:00.006+05:30

January fought
February mended
March broke vows
April angered
May cried profusely

June followed
July wanted death
August confused
September missed you
October terribly
November needed you
December is cold.

Magic

2010-11-28T15:18:00.007+05:30

When first we met we were like magic,
You cast a spell on me that kept me warm.
I was happy, loved and cherished,
I don’t know how we could lose all that.

Moments when I was down in tears
You were always willing to drown with me,
When I failed to hit the right notes
You played your magic to hide the wrongs.

You stood by my side and never let go
All the way through thick and thin,
I was safe, content and at peace
Until we lost the magic and trade it for hate.

Now I’m all alone in this angered world,
Nothing to win, nothing to lose,
What is life when it’s without you?
I have become a witch of my own kind.

My blood is angered and lost its glow,
The magic is gone and all I remember
Is how to take a knife and press it close
To a witch’s heart, full of gloom.

And so in darkness I decline to death
Bidding farewell to the once precious orb,
Precious Magic Orb – The life of us!!!
Gone as it drained from my heart.

Shame

2010-11-10T12:21:00.003+05:30

Shame is when I think of you,
Shame is when I need you.

Shame is when I hate you,
Shame is when I still love you.

Shame is when I miss you,
Shame is when I want you to go.

Shame is when I always think of you,
Shame is when I wanna forget you.

Shame is when I long for you,
Shame is when I cannot have you.

Shame is when I am hopeless,
Shame is when you are my hope.

Shame is when I wanna die,
Shame is when I wanna live for you.

Shame is when I write this poem,
Shame is when I feel so shameful.

Ego Toy

2010-10-29T13:47:00.005+05:30

He’s just an ego boy
And I his ego toy.

Melancholy II

2010-10-01T14:15:00.001+05:30

As I sing of melancholy
No longer sad in its tone,
I lend my ears to what surrounds
Ah! Sweet silence, sweet recluse!
Surely the gift of peace at hand
I sing the epoch of my own self
I sing the era of my own being
Atlas! I am myself – happy and content
Beneath this wholesome void
Lies the tranquil solitude I seek,
And there I sit and sing
A sweet melancholy song.

Melancholy

2010-09-29T22:28:00.002+05:30

Birds of a feather
I have none like mine,
I perch alone in destitute
The sad abandoned tree,
In whose branch I sit
And sing myself a tune.
Time walks ahead
I drag myself to catch,
My heart lags a beat
Beneath the broken vows,
And there I sit and sing
A sad melancholy song.

Traces of Hope

2010-09-15T17:43:00.002+05:30

To search for water in the Sahara dry
The sun steals your sweat
Your body reduced to the sands
A tail of sting beneath your trial
Your mind fails you
Your eyes hail a mirage
You rise to fall, again
And yet again.

Your senses withered to dust
Your moist transpired to air
You crave for a drop
Everytime you lose a drop
You shiver for the moon
And pant for the sun
You stumble a step
And fall to the dunes.

Moment when all seems lost
The winds usher a chant
“Rise, my little one,
Your land is not far”
And so you struggle a step
With the last of your strength
And beyond the dunes
Lie the traces of hope.

Why

2010-09-08T00:35:00.004+05:30

A young man dies on a morning’s cold
His wife weeping into her hankerchief’s fold
Her hands upon her belly to which she holds
A child unborn, now deprived a father we are told.

A little girl new with a Sunday’s frock
Couldn’t find her white matching sock
The church bell rang till the clock tick-tocks
Not at church, she search for the sock that’s lost.

A woman late in her thirty years
No food on the table, just eyes full of tears
For her children – one, three and five – she fears
For her husband’s return, she knew it aint near.

An old man brushing his teeth over the basin
Looks into the mirror, into the eyes that’s sinking
Reflects over his life and regrets what he had sinned
Took some pills out of the old labelled tin.

What is it with life anyway?

Why do we cry for the unborn child?
Why do we search for the unseen sock?
Why do we wait for someone that’s gone?
Why do we live a life that’s dead?

What is it with life anyway?

Your Eyes

2010-08-24T14:02:00.004+05:30

Lovely is the world we live in,
Lovelier are the eyes you behold.
Anger has no room for them.
Love! Love! All around-

Reasons I have none but submit myself
Over your deep dazzling eyes,
Traps my soul into thy heart,
Love! Love! All around-

Untold mysteries lie in those glances,
Angelic comfort I have of them.
Never would I dare to drift away;
God’s best creation- love and beauty
And, it is in Your Eyes I witness.

The Night

2010-08-11T00:17:00.001+05:30

The night was sparkling, windy yet calm
I had my space amidst the happy crowd
I sit a satisfied mind watching you cheer
Your eyes sufficed a thousand cares.

Cherished moment that enclosed our presence
The sweetest taste of softness you gave
My skin deeply scented by the smell of your coat
Hung over me as your arms would hold.

The Loveless Coquette

2010-07-22T18:35:00.002+05:30

I, the loveless coquette
Loves the way you love me
Celebrated in a kiss.

I, the loveless coquette
Loves the weight of your chest
Upon mine.

I, the loveless coquette
Loves the warmth of your breath
Over my shoulders.

I, the loveless coquette
Loves the grip of your hands
Gentle to my neck.

I, the loveless coquette
Loves how you make me gasp
For another breath of air.

I, the loveless coquette
Loves how you sing to me nights
Cuddling to your tune.

I, the loveless coquette
Loves the way I love you
Though you claim it loveless.

Life: Two Faces

2010-07-09T21:23:00.000+05:30

My birth

Determined

My love

Deceived

My hope

Jeopardized

My soul

Cursed

My religion

Hacked

My life

Pierced

My death

Ascertained.

My birth

Anticipated

My love

Embraced

My hope

Cultivated

My soul

Liberated

My religion

Endured

My life

Exalted

My death

Redeemed.

One Day

2010-07-01T22:25:00.002+05:30

If one fine day upon the Altar
Standing nervous in a white dress
I would want nothing else in this world
But you be in a black suit to my right.

(The original draft & sketch)

Inside A Womb

2010-07-01T15:33:00.000+05:30

Inside a womb darkness is a friend
Of day and night the difference is none
I can barely think but I can hear
Sad grieves in my seven months of stay
I sleep to the tune and live within the tune
Is this what they call a cry!
Mother who bears me sound
I am a part of you, part of your grief
Two months then I shall join your world
And then I’ll see with my senses
If your world is indeed sad.

Inside a womb your grief is a friend
Of day and night the sound is all I hear
Am I your grief? Am I your relief?
A fetus in darkness learns what is hurt
But what lies beyond, is there a counter-hurt?
Inside a womb I can barely foresee
Mother who bears me sound
I am a part of you, part of your hurt
And if your world is all that you have cried
Then why should I plunge to interrupt
And truth be seen which is indeed sad.

The Calling

2010-06-24T19:03:00.001+05:30

In the dead of night when mortals sleep
A candle was lit in a humble’s keep.
A Voice was heard
(The Voice of the unheard)
By this maid who seems younger
Could not prolong her sleep any longer.

In the dead of night she set forth,
A shield, an armour – she carried both.
A candle in her hand
She left the land
Sweet, tender but bold at heart
Ventured the unknown of precious earth.

At the dawn of light she finally arrived
To a place of dark where people strive.
Anger, hate, greed, deception
Anguish, sorrow, rejection
Standing bare she held out her candle
As far as to every home she was able.

At the dawn of light with all her might
Fought against the dark with all her light.
With the shield of the Cross
Armour of the Holy Ghost
The Voice led her on and dwelt her heart
Until the Gospel was spread in everyone’s heart.

In the triumph of light when darkness fled
The girl rejoiced with a peaceful pledge.
Soon her soul shall rest to that Golden Yard
To the right of Him who’s Voice was heard.
(And for all who answered the call
Immortal Crown is made never to fall)

Inside

2010-06-24T19:00:00.000+05:30

Standing on an Ice I see what lies beneath
Darkness rules the world under my burdened shoe
Lost in the sea of Misfortune where was I?
Hungry in the wilderness my thoughts won’t eat
My soul cries a tear out of a dry tissue
Suspended in fear I forgot how to fly.

My world goes Black and it seems I'm Sinking
There's a noise in my Head and I can't think straight
I reach out my hand but the Surface's too high
The light is fading and I can Breath Nothing
Coldness surrounds and Numbs my soul to a Bait
I'm falling, I'm drowning, I'm dying inside -

My Pillow

2010-06-24T17:22:00.001+05:30

Dear Pillow, were you to speak what would you say?
You’ve seen me in my best and worst, smiles and frowns,
Its every night I lay my trust on you.
You’ve rocked me to sleep when I’m lonely,
You soak my tears when I cry in pain,
You’ve heard my secrets and keep them safe,
I wonder how your magic works!
I trust you, I touch you;
I love you, I hug you.
I’m like your sweet little girl
But I can’t be your girl forever,
One sweet day I shall have to leave you.
Dear Pillow, I’ll soon find my guy
And every night I will lay my trust on him.
He will rock me to sleep and kiss me goodnight,
He will wipe my tears and make me smile,
We will share our secrets and keep them alive,
He will woo me with his magic touch!
But I’ll thank you, Dear Pillow
For it’s with you always that I dreamt of this guy,
Thanks for giving me the dreams of dreams
Without which life is not worth living.
Dear Pillow, were you to let me go what would you say?

IT (Mother’s Love)

2010-06-24T17:13:00.000+05:30

Like a glass slipper that wraps your delicate feet
It fits you right wherever you go
It greets you with a morning’s assurance
The feeling that keeps you forward
And with this presence I sing, I dance
I live, I may stumble
No matter how high or low you bent
Not a place where It does not follow
It is like a song whose melody is peace
A song that soothes you after a day’s hardship
Every moment in your life’s busy
You know It is there and you live to It
But what am I for this Omnipresent
Still a shining star that illuminates all
And for that, a soul can never waste
And always a star, even if I fall.

The Silent Tear

2010-06-24T16:24:00.001+05:30

I cried a silent tear inside my locked up room
I know I ought to be a man and refuse to cry
But a failing heart has not the strength
And would not Shakespeare cry for his beloved?

A flashback to the past is all I have of you
Your smile, your hair, your voice
You are everything I hold on to
Yet everything I have to move on for

What do I need to learn?
What do you need me to learn?
Words, passion, love – you taught me all
And yet I fail to win your heart

I sit back, I waited for an answer
But my phone agreed to side with your silence
I’m alone, I’m hurt, I’m confused
The Land of the Amazon is no match for me

And what hurts me the most is that -
The only girl I love becomes the only girl I hate!!